Are you a parent of a teenager? Are you aware of this insane trend called sexting? For those of you who don’t know, sexting is when a kid takes a flirtatious, nude or semi-nude picture of them self and sends it to others through their cell phone or other means of texting device. You also must know that sexting is an illegal activity with a heinous penalty that will haunt your teen for the rest of his/her life. No matter how uncomfortable this might seem it is a subject you must discuss with your child.
If you think your teen is not sexter or doesn’t know about sexting I am telling you now you are dead wrong. In a survey almost 40% of all teens have posted sexually suggestive messages, 37% are teen girls and 40% are teen boys. Of those, sixty-six percent of teen girls and 60% of teen boys say they did so to be “fun or flirtatious.” They think it’s innocent fun; but it’s not. Kids are sexting to people they barely know, people they meet online, to boyfriends and girlfriends or others they want to “hook up” with. Sexting can ruin a teenager’s reputation at school and in the community. More serious your teenager can be arrested for distributing child pornography. THEY WILL BE LISTED AS A SEXUAL PREDATOR FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE. This is no joke.
I was discussing the topic with my 15 ½ year old daughter the other day on our way home from high school. I made sure at a very young age that my daughter felt secure that no topic is taboo. For me, I want to know what is going on in her life, so I can protect her. For her, I believe the freedom to confide in her mother is a safe haven, a place not to be judged, but protected.
I wanted to know how prevalent sexting was at her school. I also wanted to make sure that she knew how dangerous it was and the serious criminal consequences. She confidently told me that she knows what sexting is and she knows the act comes with legal penalties. She told me there are two girls at school who are both known by all the other kids as sexters, the boyfriends they sent their pictures to then distributed them to the student body. Those girls’ reputations are marred for life, and so are the boys who forwarded the sexts. When either the girls or the boys who participated in the crime pass by a group of kids the others all point and comment, “that’s the sexter”.
What made me most proud, as a mom, was my own child’s point of view on the matter. She said, “Mom, I don’t trust technology. Why would anyone send anything so personal on any electronic device? If I was going to share something so special, which I’m not! (Phew, off the hook there – right) why would I do that on a cell phone? If I were going to share something that private I would do that in person when it’s more intimate and meaningful! Bravo my child, I love her sensibility.
I feel confident that because we openly discuss all topics, the easy ones and the highly charged ones too, my teenage child is equipped with the right sense of self to make the right choices for her future.
Sexting has become all too common. Our children are confronted with a tremendous amount of peer pressure to fit in, be liked, and to be accepted.
Technology provides them with a forum that is foreign to our generation. As Kerri said, you need to be aware. Don’t be an alarmist. Establish open lines of communication. Listen to your child’s beliefs and thoughts.
Some children minimize the significance of this behavior. Some justify this as a means of gaining attention. Others rationalize the inappropriate behavior for a host of reasons.
Consider your child’s history and pattern of handling pressure. Let your child understand your perspective and teach them good decision making. Help them to understand the connection between their actions today and the consequences for tomorrow.
Keep us informed Kerri and we can make sure our children have successful futures.
My six year old wanted a Nintendo DSi for Christmas, which has a camera upgrade. My wife and I soon found out that one of his kindergarten classmates wanted him to take pictures of his eight-yr. old sister in the bathtub!
My 14 year old niece got into a fist fight after school because of a boy issue. What I was amazed by is that 5 or 6 of the viewing audience videoed it on their cell phones and uploaded it to youtube! The foul language that these girls spewed would make our grand-parents sick!! Every sentence was littered with F U’s, and more. Also, one was of Latin decent and one was Caucasian. The racial slurs both girls used was proof to me that we are losing the war on racism in America.
Where did we go so wrong?
Nice article. I think that this will certainly help a lot of people, especially the young and need some solid couple of tricks.
Keep up the great work!
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