One of my facebook friends, a very handsome man had a bone to pick with me about the Cougar Myth. So we had a little fb chat about his past romantic interludes with older ladies. It was clear to me when he spoke about the ladies he encountered that he cared for many of the women in his life regardless of age. But true to my belief, cougaring is a short term phase that for the most part does not result in meaningful relationships while being a leopard(ess) is a long lasting state of mind. There are clearly therapists and psychologists on both sides of the May/December equation http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=52320
Luc told me about two women specifically that he met in his late teens/early twenties. The first was a beautiful woman he encountered at an airport which resulted in a seven year on and off relationship. The second was a Sheryl Crow look a like who managed a coffee bar in Florida. Both sounded like beautiful growth experiences for this man. BUT Luc admitted when one of these ladies was ready for “real love” he let her go to find her “love”. Instinctually this younger man knew that he could not fulfill that role for his more mature lady.
By the same token Luc also admitted that by age 25 he was ready to meet his “soul one” and it was neither of these cougar women. He went on to say that the one true love he’s had in his life to date was a woman merely 8 months older, this does not constitute a cougar. A cougar’s age is defined as 10 years or more older than her male partner.
Luc has said that he is ready for “the one”. At 32 years old he is searching for the woman he can love with infinite awareness of gratitude, passion, honesty and happiness. He says that his ability to love a woman is predicated on pure, loyal, romantic and infinitely great! He sounds like the perfect prospect ladies!
Age is just a number for Luc and has nothing to do with love, attraction or appreciation of the woman. On this point I agree with you Luc. A woman can be 40 years young or 40 years old, it’s a mind set not a truism. An interesting short term study of midlife women found that when these ladies were shown pictures of men without identifying their ages they instinctively chose men who were their own age or older. Compelling results. What is more on target and subliminally hard wired into our brains is to choose someone to spend time with that we share common goals and values regardless of age. If you love adventure and you are physically active you will naturally tend to be attracted to someone with a similar spirit. If you are more a cerebral type you will naturally tend to find a person who you can share your thoughts and ideas with. I believe that Luc will inevitably end up with a woman 5 years plus or minus his current age who is more in tune with where he is in life, what he is looking for in a relationship (the ability to have children) and more akin to his thoughtful spirit.
Care to weigh in on the cougar phenom? Had similar relationships you’d care to share? Have you had your Cougar flings and ready to take on the Leopard Pride. I’d like to hear from you!
