Slim down your waistline and fatten up your wallet. Sounds like a crazy combo right? But the ability to lose those excess pounds and manage your purse strings all come from the same inner strength. Anyone can do it but you’ve got to have the stick-to-itiveness to make it work! You have to be mentally prepared with the fact that it takes 28 days to change a habit. You didn’t gain the weight overnight or go into debt at the blink of an eye so nothing is going to right itself in a flash either.  If you set your mind to start with baby steps and work your way toward a solid end game you will have a better shot at success.

Change is a conscious process that starts with the awareness that there are benefits in making the effort. This is called “precontemplation.” In other words, if you don’t buy the sassy pair of shoes staring back at you in the Saks window every time you walk by, you could take a snazzy vaca in three months. And while you are at it dropping the 10 pounds you’ve been meaning to manage will allow for a bikini preview on the beach during that above-mentioned holiday away.

Next is “contemplation”. This is the stage when you are taking you seriously. Take a look at the effort, effectiveness, cost/savings and time involved to make your behavioral change. When you can solidly support that there are more pro’s than con’s then your head is in the right place to go for it. In other words, the croissant and cappuccino will fill your belly with buttery satisfaction but the visualization of you sauntering sexily in your new two piece on a sunset laden beach is SOOO much better.

Now comes the “preparation.” What are the steps that you are going to make that will elicit this positive result. You have made up your mind you are going to do what it takes by slipping into your gym shoes to go for a walk or standing down the tempting twofer on summer sandals at Target. Ease yourself into this effort with a three day a week half hour a day workout commitment or limiting yourself to a minimal weekly discretionary fashion fund.

You’ve done it! You are in the “action,” phase. You are going to the gym regularly, watching your pennies, steering clear of the frozen food aisle. Keep it up! This stage is tricky and has the most chance of relapse. Engage friends and family to support your efforts. Have them join you on your fitness jaunts and deter you from the shopping malls.

Finally you have found “maintenance”. This is the stage of behavior change we all strive to achieve. At the end of a healthy 28-day change you come to a place where you can successfully sustain a lifestyle modification. You can easily wrap your head around your new and wondrous ways. The visualizations are second nature and make it simple to maintain your new behavior. Once you have achieved your initial goals like the bikini boasting vacation, set yourself some new goals. By continually reinventing your new imagined you, your chances of tracking back to the old you are nullified.

Please welcome my new financial contributor, Anne Fleming. Anne is an expert in the world of cars and is here to give all of us some valuable tips on being auto savvy.

How to put $3,000 back into your Budget

3 Steps to Saving Money at the Dealership

New and used car sales are picking up again after a punishing recession and rising along with them is a resource that helps to put women in the driver’s seat when buying a car.

Research shows, however, that many women hesitate to go to the dealership by themselves, in fact, 63% of female car buyers bring someone with them and 78% of the time it’s a man. The reason?  Many women aren’t comfortable negotiating.

Not surprisingly, women now buy 54% of all cars and influence 80% of the family car purchases. Further research indicates that when women have a “let’s get this over with” mindset and, when they don’t negotiate, they pay $1,353 more than their male counterpart*. That amount balloons to an estimated $3,000 over the life of an auto loan.

Three thousand dollars goes a long way in assisting women in taking better care of themselves and their family. That sum is the equivalent to:

• A hefty deposit for an IRA, 529 education fund, or a dream vacation
• An emergency fund
• 50 pair of shoes, or, 20 designer handbags
• 3 months of grocery trips for a family of four, or nine months for a single person
• 120 $25.00 Starbucks or Target gift cards

To level the playing field, Women-Drivers.com is a free and invaluable resource where women can Write and Read reviews of dealerships from coast to coast that have been designated as Certified Women-Friendly.

Anne Fleming, President and Car Buying Advocate of Women-Drivers.com says there are three things women can do to empower themselves and save money when going to the dealership. First, locate and do business with certified dealers; these are dealers that women rated and gave high scores to. Next, take the Negotiating Test to see what kind of a negotiator you are — and follow the simple steps to maximize your buying power. Third, stay empowered and use your voice and your intuition—just as you would if it were for someone else.

Women-Drivers.com allows women to rate their Purchasing, Browsing and Service experiences at dealerships nationwide and connect with Certified Women-Drivers Friendly™ car dealers.  Dealers are recognized as Certified Women-Drivers Friendly™ and use this to distinguish their dealership in several key ways. The company provides a number of innovative tools to assist dealers in attracting more women buyers.

Though I am not sure how this happened, obviously I was careless at some point down the line and now I’m paying the price. You don’t have to be caught in the same mess as me if you take the right precautions.

Here are a few wise moves.

Lighten your load.  I don’t know about you but my wallet always used to weigh me down. Not the coinage, yes that is heavy, but all that plastic! If getting that heavy weight off your shoulder isn’t convincing enough how about this, thirty percent of fraud begins with a stolen wallet, checkbook or credit card. You don’t need to carry around a credit card for every store, your checkbook, PIN code cheat sheet and your soch card. One credit card can carry you through a whole day of shopping, maybe even a month! If that one gets lost or stolen it’s easier to report and cancel.

Check and balances. I’m sure you’ve gotten at least one call in the last five years from your credit card carrier alerting you to unusual activity. But oftentimes there is a lag between when they call you and when your card is stolen. Lucky me (jk) I’ve had this experience as well. Several years ago, before my Texas nemesis, a smarmy thief managed to detect my credit card numbers from my gas card. So, not cool. Now there is a whole industry in credit card monitoring services. These companies access a monthly fee for their service, but it’s well worth the price. They stay on top of the your cards daily and handle any suspicious activity. I just signed up for a service through Victoria Secret. It includes all kinds of in-store discounts and bonuses. Now that’s a fun way to protect your assets.

Be a shred head. DO NOT just dump financial mail in the trash. Anything that includes credit card information, social security numbers, bank statement info, tax info or other sensitive identifiers should be destroyed. Invest in a confetti shredder and go to town. I employed my younger daughter to do the job, she was a shred demon and totally earned her allowance.

Go paperless. Pay your monthly bills on-line. Banking institutions are doing their best to constantly track ahead of on-line thievery. It’s safer than dropping your bills in the post box outside your house, faster, more efficient, convenient and I love being able to schedule auto-pays. Now I never get penalized with late fees.

Scrub your software. If you like the idea of paperless be smart and take measures to detract on-line thieves. The most popular browser is Microsoft Internet Explorer so most of the nasty viruses are designed to infiltrate that ISP. Use other browsers like Firefox, Bing or Opera. Another great trick is to get a second or even third free e-mail account from Hotmail, Yahoo or Google.  Segregate your online shopping from banking and private correspondence. Don’t use your name or familiar words as a part of any address.

Be inky. One signed check and a pan of acetone can clean out a bank account. Acetone is the active ingredient in nail polish remover. A criminal can tape over your signature front and back then give your check an acetone bath. When it dries it’s a blank check with your sig. Prevent this with a fraud free Uni-ball gel pen. To further protect your checking account, next time you order your checks remember less is more. Print your initials and last name instead of your full name, avoid noting your phone number, order the checks from your bank instead of an independent vendor and ask for paper that acetone stains.

Be safe, be smart, protect your hard earned cash and your squeaky clean ID.

In the meantime, here are a few nearly pain free suggestions to cut back on household expenses.

Buy in bulk. I love roaming the aisles of Costco; everything is in twins, oversized and tempting. Plus the ladies on the end aisles are beckoning you to try delicious packaged food that become irresistible. You just must have them.  But I have come to find that in my small household, there is no way three people can go through five pounds of ready to serve cannelloni and two double wide loaves of bread before the “use by” date has come and gone. These giant sized delicacies inevitably become ice packed Neanderthals lurking in the back of my freezer. Ultimately the load gets trashed. So why am I telling you to still buy in bulk? Well, the light bulb went off. Bulk buy groceries to share with another household! When my grocery budget got slashed last year, I started splitting Costco purchases with my friends. We easily divided up the giant sized toilet paper package and low and behold thanks to Ziploc and Glad plastics (which you can also purchase in bulk at Costco) we could go halvies on the cannelloni too.

Take on a roomy. Do you have an extra bedroom or office in your house? Those rooms that were once a luxury can become a debt free sigh of relief. That home office of yours can be moved to a corner in another space and the extra room can be converted into a bedroom.  With a child off to college or out of the house you can easily shift their room into a rental. Their stuff goes into storage or reduced; if they didn’t take it with them they’re probably not going to miss it anyways. Post your rental on Craig’s list or at the local college. Of course, ALWAYS make sure to check credentials and do a background check before you let anyone into your home.

Become an independent. Being a member of a community is good, whether it is your church, tennis club, golf course or gym. I am a proponent of all these organizations, but sometimes its just not financially feasible. If you’ve got a compelling case many of these groups will allow you to put your membership on hiatus without charge. You don’t have to give up the activity even if you aren’t a member. Churches will never turn away the faithful, there are free tennis courts on high school campuses and at public parks, public golf courses are available if you make reservations and no one needs a gym to do a workout. Read my “Raising the Bar” Fitness Tips” I give you a new way to workout, no gym, no equipment necessary, every month!

Rethink, revise, redo. There are plenty of activities we incorporate as part of our daily lives that we can cut back on when necessary. I used to love my Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf Latte daily. That extra AM jolt came with a $4.20 price tag. I cut back. Now I only visit the tea shop for meetings or as a Wifi hub between appointments. I’m saving $125.00 a month!

Dinners out are a special occasion only affair.

Much to my children’s chagrin, I’ve become the saver card queen. “Oh no, Mom’s pulling out her discount cards again!!” “Who cares!”? If you must, “walk away from the register,” when it comes to checkout time. Mom is saving piggy-b stuffers. I’m even a card-carrying member of stores that I don’t frequent. It doesn’t cost anything and you never know; Pep Boys could come in handy one day. Plus they send me thrifty monthly coupons.

Be a coupon cutter. That is another great way to save. If you coordinate your purchases just right, you can get the managers discount and use a coupon simultaneously, no one’s gonna stop ya.  That is a savings homerun. Do not be ashamed to pull out your wad of coups at the grocery store, even if the checkout line goes back to mid-frozen food aisle. YOU are saving cash. Some grocery stores are now offering direct couponing on-line. In other words, you can go to their website, enter your grocery card number, and choose the coupons you want to use.  Those coupons are credited to your grocery card account and automatically applied at the checkout register. Could be less embarrassing than the cutouts.

And did you know there are websites with nothing but promotional codes and coupons. Before you ping the purchase button for an on-line buy do a quick search for the product name plus the word promotion. Oftentimes the site will list several promo codes along with other purchaser’s reviews of the promo. Plug in your favorite code in the appropriate box on your checkout page and see how much you can save.

Do not despair. Your cutbacks are temporary. Recessions do not last forever.

First and foremost never second guess yourself. Don’t start a sentence with “this may be a stupid idea” or “I’m not sure you are going to like this but.”   When we use disclaimers like these we’re trying to lower expectations, which is exactly what it does, it diminishes the idea and you. Instead try presenting your suggestions with “I have an thought” or “Here’s an idea”. I have really taken to the world “brilliant” and have been using it often and with abandon. I find that it gives my thoughts the right tone for me. It lightens the suggestion but also lets my listener know I have a lot invested in what I am about to share. Stating your thoughts in a positive light gives you a decisive air. Whether your idea is ultimately right or wrong or the path someone will take is subjective. People like listening to those who are committed to their thoughts. It gives your idea credence and puts you in a position of strength.

Identify your personal assets and get comfortable with them. Write them all down on a piece of paper and commit them to memory. Let your attributes become your daily affirmations. You may never actually tell someone “My best asset is….” but  acknowledging the good about you helps you embody these qualities. They become very natural and second nature and it will allow you to articulate the idea in a conversation without hammering someone with the stone cold fact.

Dig into the details of your accomplishments even if they are small details. When someone asks you what you’ve been up to lately, let them know. Even if it is simply that you baked a beautiful cake. It is subtle and seemingly inconsequential but you will earn your listeners respect.

Keep your self publicity in the positive hemisphere. I know we’ve all heard that any publicity is good publicity, but when you’re just starting out good publicity is best. Share the good news and avoid the bad. Your audience will stay tuned to hear about how you just signed your new client  but they’ll tune out and want to escape your company as soon as you launch into the latest argument with your ex.

Positive energy begets positive energy. People like to be around people that exude positivity so in a very unaffected way you will become the center of attention. Voila.

Annually on March 8th, thousands of events are held throughout the world to inspire women and celebrate achievements. With more women in the boardroom, greater equality in legislative rights, and an increased critical mass of womens visibility as impressive role models in every aspect of life women have gained a great deal of equality. We do have female astronauts and prime ministers, school girls are welcomed into university, women can work and have a family, women have real choices. There is still more that can be done to insure that women are  paid equally to their male counterparts, that more women are present in business, and politics.  Globally women’s health, education and welfare are tested daily so we need not forget what still must be overcome.

Celebrate the day with your girlfriends, seek out and participate in one of the many diverse activities that will connect women on this day. Make an effort to become involved in women’s networking groups in your local community and broadly in your on-line community on a regular basis. We are all here to support, inspire and promote each other.

Like many other aspects of our lives how we spend our money is a function of making the right choices. It shouldn’t be an all or nothing proposition, it should be putting needs and wants in the proper perspective. The best way to teach children about making choices is to allow them to do it.

Children should be given an allowance or “paycheck” based on “jobs” or chores. Both the “job” and the “paycheck” should be age appropriate. One idea is to give  your child an amount that is half their age. In other words a ten year old will receive $5 a week or simply shift some of the money you are currently spending on discretionary items for your children and give it to them to manage.  Set up save, spend, share, and invest accounts. There are even specially designed piggy banks to help promote this concept. Check out Moonjar, My Giving Bank or the Money Savvy Pig. You can find them on Amazon.com. Help them understand what the four different money accounts/pigs are and why each is important. Then let your kids decide which account they would like to put their money into. When they want to buy something they will have to make sure they have enough money in their spend account to purchase the item and if it is something worthy of owning. If it’s a big ticket item like an ipod or a ball game they will need to decide if its worth dipping into their save account.

When it is their money, not yours, you will be amazed at how much more thoughtful they are when it comes to the purchase decision. It works with young children and teenagers alike. Just before christmas I was at the mall with my then 18 year old daughter. She saw a scarf she just HAD to  have. It was $80. We considered the scarf and how much use she thought she’d get out of it. She decided $80 dollars worth. Then I asked her if she’d brought her money to purchase it. She quickly reevaluated the scarf and decided $80 was too much.  The same works for gas money. My daughter has a car large enough to accommodate 8 people. She became the designated driver for she and all her friends. Those kids thought nothing of driving 100 miles for breakfast. They were blowing through gas money with reckless abandon. When I turned off the tank, so to speak, my daughter began asking her friends to contribute to her gas fund. They all quickly chose to ride the bus or hit local breakfast joints.  Smart kids.

I reward my children with good grade bonuses. They know that bringing home A’s and B’s on report cards mean cash. Their number one job is school and above all else it’s a priority to do well. I also instituted a year end giving program when they were very young. I allowed them to choose a charity that they wanted to donate a percentage of their savings to and then I matched their donation dollar for dollar. Every year was a different charity. It went a long way in not only teaching them how good it felt to give to others but also about how truly challenging our world is and caring globally for human and animal alike.

We are living in tangible times and the lesson is about spending what you have, not what you don’t.  Whatever your pig is holding are your assets..if it’s not in the belly of the ceramic beast it doesn’t exist.

Your Grass is Green.

Research studies, published articles and opinion polls, as well as real life experience has revealed that personal charm is an extremely well valued characteristic in our society. People can say whatever they want about former President Bill Clinton’s policies or his personal conduct, but no one who ever met the man has failed to comment on his personal charm.

Exercising your mojo effectively will make you a stand out in a crowd and if implemented properly and sincerely it will leave a lasting positive impression on every person you meet. There is a very elusive set of subjective criteria that people judge others by and harnessing your mojo can catapult your business and personal life in an enormously positive way.

Recently I met with a business associate who currently has a very high level position at a television network. He awarded my company a sweet deal on a television series. When I thanked him for the work he told me that the award was largely do to our relationship. He said, “You were always so nice to me even when I wasn’t this guy, I never forgot that.”  Thank you Mojo.

Mojo is not a god given right nor a part of your DNA, it cannot be given nor taken away but it can be learned. Embracing and nurturing this characteristic is as important as your $150.00 highlights and your True Religion jeans. It is the art of letting someone else know that you feel good about him or her without asking for anything in return.

So how does one manifest Mojo? Here are 10 simple steps.

1. Smile and make eye contact. If it feels right say “hello”.
2. Let others know you are really listening by using your body language. Again make eye contact, tilt your head and give verbal clues like “uh-huh, aah, mmm or even a non-committal “really” in the right tone works!
3. Listen more than you speak. Super valuable tool. This should probably be #1.
4. Make slow gestures with your hands and arms to give the impression that you’re relaxed around them.
5. Dump your big purse or heavy briefcase, the less you carry the more you’re able to gesture.
6. Mirror the other person’s movements. So, if they put their hands behind their back you do the same — but be subtle – you don’t want to get caught.
7. Give the person you are talking to a compliment. Even the simplest expression will make them feel grateful.
8. Be sincere, unrehearsed and believe what you’re saying.
9. Be selfless. You should not ask for anything in return, not even feedback.

10.Finally, and probably much to Austin Power’s dismay, mojo isn’t sexual; it’s simply the warmth and confidence you exude.

Start off using your mojo on your family and friends, your waiter at a restaurant, or even the guy who hands you your dry cleaning. You will be amazed at how people will respond to you. Let it become as natural as your breathing as green as your grass. You will find that your mojo will be the most profitable tool in your interpersonal skill belt, be subtle and have fun with it!

Your Grass is Green

The ‘having less allows more’ philosophy is really very simple. The less stuff you have the less responsibility, expense and maintenance required. For example, if you give up the extra car you save on gas, insurance and upkeep. Lose the fridge in the garage and you’ve saved 20% on your electricity bill. Limit yourself to one closet and you will find yourself buying less clothing. One computer means only one DSL hook-up, one television translates to less electricity and one toaster – well who needs more than one toaster anyway. It all trickles down to less out of pocket, less accountability, a lighter load and less stress!

Once you make the mental commitment to downsize the challenge is where to begin. It can be daunting to think about how and where to start the process and we all know that getting rid of  things you’ve been collecting for years can trigger a variety of emotions.

Here’s a pain free guide to get you started.

The best way to ease into the downsizing process is to face your neatest room first. Use the keep, sell, and toss system, outlined below. Have everyone in the family get involved, that way each person can weigh in on what stays and what goes. If the majority agrees to get rid of something, dump it. If it is an item that is really difficult to part with, put it in a maybe pile and come back to it later. Then if everyone agrees it’s time to round file it a second time – you’ve got to face the good riddance factor.

Here is the system:

Keep – the items you just can’t live without.

Sell – the items you don’t want anymore but you could sell and make some extra cash.

Toss – the items that your whole crew agrees have seen there better days. It’s out!

Pair down the items in each room in a logical order, right to left or left to right. Start with one piece of furniture in the room and everything in or on it. Finish this spot all at once. If you move from one piece of furniture to the next without finishing the whole process in the first location, you will feel overwhelmed and messy. That can cross you over into “never gonna finish” territory and that is worse than not starting the process in the first place!

Pace yourself. Limit your downsizing time commitment to two  hours a day that way you won’t feel rushed, it’s less stressful, and you will make better choices. Focus on one area at a time, that way you will feel accomplished. Trying to complete a whole room in one fell swoop could leave you feeling inundated.  Sometimes trying to part with things you’ve lived with for a long time can be very emotional, don’t rush through the process.

Don’t try and multi-task through downsizing, focus on each and every item you touch so you can make a fair evaluation in your keep, sell, and toss piles.  While you are sorting or purging through your keepsakes take time to read old letters, reminisce over old photos or collectables.  Make the whole project as enjoyable as possible.

Even if everyone says to get rid of something you love, hang on to if it is really really important to you. Put it in a pile that can be further downsized at a later date. You may find that things you held onto in the first go round aren’t really as important, as you thought, when you go back for round two.

Think about the possibility of passing on special items to family members now. If you know that your son or daughter or grandchildren would love a piece of jewelry or curio, go ahead and give it to them. It’s much more fun to see family enjoy the item now than when you are gone. O yeah, that’s right,  you can’t enjoy anything when you are gone..share it now! I love sharing my things with my daughters – we both get to enjoy special pieces and it’s a wonderful way to bond with your kids.

Definitely dump out on the items that you NEVER use. For example, get rid of the lime juicer you bought in Mexico thinking you were going to make authentic Margarita’s every night..and you haven’t. You will never miss it.

It’s time for your adult children to take full possession of their entire 4^th grade art collection – or not. They may not want it and you’ll wonder why you’ve been holding on to it all this time. for no good reason.

Sit down with all your family members and decide together who will inherit what items  now. It’s such a grown up thing to do and will save the nasty he said/she said, after you are gone. Everyone was there, everyone had choices and the dividing up of the family treasures is done.

Be sure that everyone you want to have something gets something, especially if it’s something meaningful to that person.

You will find that as you go through each room the downsizing will become easier and your decision making keener.  Go back to your maybe pile as well as the first room after you’ve finished every other room in your house and downsize even more.

Take it day by day, don’t rush through the process, acknowledge that it is a process. After a while you will begin to see exactly how “having less allows more”.

Your grass is green.