Let Them Recline

For years my Mom has been haranguing me about purchasing one of those embarrassing “just for old folks” and “guys who drink too much beer and watch football all day” recliners. I adamantly refused! I couldn’t imagine having one of those chairs sitting in my fabulously Z Gallerie’d living room. But TODAY we did it!  We purchased the, oh so soft and cushy, Jackson-Ross recliner. How could this happen you ask? Let me tell you. That woman is undeniably convincing, especially after the last 5 weeks we’ve been through.

My mom fell very ill at the end of September.  She contracted shingles in multiple nerve endings along her left leg, broke a bone in her spine – thank you osteoporosis, lets see, that’s number 11 on the stress compression fracture hit parade- and managed to deplete her sodium count to a near death inducing 113 (normal range is 136 to 145).  At eighty-nine years old we were all convinced that this was the end for her. Even she felt as though she couldn’t bear the pain a moment longer. After a week in the hospital they tracked her sodium back up to a reasonable 125 and sent her home. But the pain from the shingles episode persisted, along with the cracked bone leaning on her sciatic nerve. She was completely bed ridden and unable to do anything on her own, including bathroom visits. She was despondent. Round the clock care became de rigueur and my completely independent and self-sufficient mother’s spirit was trashed. She is a tough and determined old woman and I believe G-d decided it was not her turn yet. The weeks wore on.

We have spent countless days and hours with neurologists, urologists, orthopedists and rheumatologists to get this normally vital woman back on track. Finally, last week, the neurologists prescribed some meds that have assuaged the pain. It has given us all a ray of hope. Next step is getting Mom out of her bed, out of the bedroom and back into the world. And I knew exactly how to do it! I needed to get that woman her “Recliner”.

I knew it was my Mom’s dream to have one of those silly chairs sitting in my house for whenever she felt in the mood to visit. Five years I held my anti-recliner stance. Now, I knew it was the ultimate “Mom – carrot dangler”.  I decided that if my Mother could get up out of her bed and into the wheelchair to visit her doctors, surely we could do the same trick with a visit to Macy’s. The plan was set into motion. I told my Mom that we needed to get the chair because I was planning Thanksgiving at my house and she needed to be there. That did it. Mom’s spirit shifted. It was something to look forward to and a gift she’d been denied up until now. She immediately let her fingers do the shopping, searching the mailers for just the right chair to please her tush. She found THE ONE and we set the date to take our shopping expedition.

Today was the day. I cannot express the absolute delight on her face when I came into her room this morning to get ready for our momentous ride to the mall.  Today, getting out of bed was a struggle for her, but it was a struggle she relished. She even tried to take a few steps on her own, which she’d not tried to do for the last two months. It was the spirit of this shopping adventure that made her strong. Once up on her feet the usual strain of the transition from the bed, to the wheelchair, to the car was not quite as stressful. Off we went. Of course, on Mom’s schedule we arrived to the mall early so we got the best handicapped spot. When the stores finally opened we meandered through the department store, her eyes sparkled as she took in all the holiday items on display. So energized by the outing she even asked the girl in the fragrance department to shpritz her with a sample of perfume so she’d smell nice. Then it was up the elevator to the second floor to find the holy grail of recliners.

Mom rolled into the furniture department demanding to speak only to Linda, the lovely woman who spoke to her “several” times on the phone prior to our visit. Several most likely equates to 12 in the previous 48, nevertheless Linda was pleased to see my Mom. She directed us to the Jackson Ross recliner. With much ado we got my Mom out of her wheelchair and into the recliner. It was pure heaven. “Much nicer than the two I have at home” Mom said. “It’s so soft and plush, it’s perfect”, she pronounced.

We told Linda we needed the chair delivered to my home before Thanksgiving.  She hurried off to check stock and ensure a timely delivery. When Linda was out of sight Mom said happily, “You know Kerri with this chair at your house I can come and stay with you anytime!” “Ah, a sleepover!”  In the past the thought would have sent chills down my spine. This time the hopefulness in my Mom’s voice made me rejoice. Linda returned with good news, the chair could be delivered November 25, the day before Thanksgiving. We paid the bill and thanked Linda for her help.

“We had a successful shopping trip Mom, how about some lunch?!”. Sounded like the perfect way to cap off the perfect day.  Off we rolled to Mom’s favorite restaurant, The Olive Garden.  She wanted me to share the same meal she used to order with my Dad every time they visited the mall. Of course we did.  It was a busy and blissful morning for Mom. After lunch she was exhausted and ready to be back in bed.  As we returned to her bedroom and put her nighty back on the air in the room had taken on a new lightness of being. And even though her foot was swollen from all the activity, she acknowledged that to have this day, this trip to the mall was worth it. She was energized and excited about trying out her new chair over the holiday.

These past few weeks have been very trying for my mother and for me.  Today I felt triumphant. When you are a sandwich gener it is not only what you do for your children, but also what you do for your aging parents that brings you great joy.

Your Grass is Green.