Remember when your mom told you it’s not what he says, but rather what he does that counts. As usual, she was right. You can tell a lot more from a boys body language than his words. Or any person for that matter. Ninety-three percent of what we are really saying is communicated through our postures only 7% is verbal.
So how can you read the signs? Pay attention to a few of these clear body cues.
He’s scratching his nose or ears while he’s telling you a tall tale. When a man is afraid of being caught in a lie his heart rate will soar and blood rushes to his nose, ears and forehead creating an itch that must be scratched. If you want to get to the truth, stay calm and focused. Ask questions that sound more curious than inquisitory. That way he won’t get defensive or clam up. Then let him blabber through the details, if you listen long enough his facts will become inconsistent and he might eventually get frustrated himself and just fess up.
Men do occasionally feel insecure. More than you think. A clear sign of this is if he holds on to one of his wrists. He may even pretend to be adjusting his watch. His arms are squarely across his body. He is protecting himself. Men like to feel like superheroes and all knowing. If they are confronted with an issue that they can’t work through right away they get defensive. Rather than confronting him on the topic and hounding him for an answer give him space to work through it and manage it. He’ll get back to you and he’ll be heroic.
He’s always holding on to something but it’s not you. It’s a clear sign that he is unsure of your relationship. There is a bold wedge between you and him preventing any kind of intimacy because if he’s got something in his hands and they are occupied than he can’t be touching you. There are two ways to go with this posturing. You can make him feel comfortable with his indecision by letting him know that no matter what he has to say you won’t be angry with him. If he is still keeping his distance then you must let him have his space. Let him go be on his own with no charge and hope that he comes around again.
He’s got some news and it’s not good. His mouth will tense up and his lips will press together. He is processing whether he should tell you or keep his mouth shut. Be neutral. When you see this posturing ask him what’s wrong in a very relaxed and open manner. Don’t judge just listen and maintain a non-committal posturing otherwise your guy will clam up and he may start spinning in another direction or not tell you the whole truth.
No matter what your man has to say the best reaction is to simply listen. I’ve learned over time that your first reactions might not always be the wisest. Everything is an evolution in time and nothing will change in a split second so sleep on it. Take 24 or 48 hours to figure out the best way to handle whatever it is that your guy’s dished out.
