What is your dating agenda? Can you truly say you are looking for love or is it something else?
Would you date a plumber or are you holding out for the investment banker? What if you found out the plumber was worth millions and the investment banker rented a room in a house with seven other people sharing a communal bathroom. Is the man a high school teacher with a heart of gold or a real estate developer who takes the last bite? I have got to be honest, I’ve been presented with these kinds of scenarios in my dating journey and I’m not positive I have always made the best choices.
You ladies know what I’m talking about, it’s date profiling. How do you evaluate the man and are you using the best criteria? Shouldn’t a date/mate be assessed for their inner qualities instead of their wallet stack or job title? Do you think the top line, quick stats you see on the first page of an on-line profile or the download your friend shares before she hooks you up on a blind date tell the deeper story?
I do know someone who definitely made a wiser choice than I did and most likely better than a lot of us. My mom. She set a beautiful example in finding her true soul mate, my dad. When she met my father in 1962 he was a recent immigrant to this country, a holocaust survivor and Israeli soldier. He endured one of the most horrific atrocities exacted against a race of people, followed that up with a good freedom fight for the burgeoning Israeli state and then traveled to the US to find his fortune. This was no meager man. But he did not have a penny to his name, he had no formal education beyond elementary school, worked manual labor, and spoke a rough and ready English at best. On paper he was hardly the pick of the litter. If he were a prospective date in today’s market, as a match.com profile, he’d likely be a low level choice.
A mutual acquaintance introduced my mom to this FOB guy and sparks flew. Within months they were living together. Yep, mom’s progressive. Most of my mother’s friends told her she was crazy for pursuing this man. But she saw something different in him. The more she got to know him the more she came to love and respect him. Whenever I would question her about her choice she always told me “I knew he had more integrity in his pinky finger than most men had in their entire bodies!” She was right.
My father enveloped my mother with the purest love any one person can give to another. His love wasn’t a shower of gold and jewels or lots of fancy vacations to exotic destinations. His was a deeper more powerful love. It was a cascading waterfall of thoughts and actions affection. He would warm up my mothers car on cold brisk New England mornings so she wouldn’t have to get into a cold vehicle to run her errands, he soothed her aches and pains without her having to ask, lifted her heavy chicken soup pot when she was too weak to carry it, colored her hair so she’d never be gray and fixed a broken anything in her house – no “honey do” list necessary. My mom said she never felt alone with my dad. And most importantly, she was never afraid. Side by side she was confident they could persevere through any personal crisis and together they could accomplish anything. Even on his deathbed, while the morphine drip masked the pain of his massive heart attack, my father went over the details of 
his routine house chores that he knew he wouldn’t be able to do for her while he was in the hospital. He wanted to make sure everything ran smoothly for her. My father dedicated his life to his wife. She came first and she knew it. What an amazing feeling that must be.
So what do you look for in choosing a mate? Is it his job title, bank account, and biceps or is it his heart, his integrity and his spirit?
