Is fibbing about ones age deceit or a woman’s prerogative?

It is just a thing with me, a huge thing. As I’ve gotten older my calendar age has become increasingly more difficult to actually say out loud. So what if I slightly embellish just a few clicks to the south of true center. It’s not a big deal. I mean really, what are a few years between friends? The number I confess to be is in no way a reflection of who I am as a person.

That is what I truly believed — until last week. Until the person I had fallen in love with, “the one” I thought, broke up with me, because I put out my real age, the age I feel best represents me. His visceral reaction to my perpetual “sin” sent me into a tailspin. I vacillated between — why should it matter? I cared for him so completely and I really wanted to make this relationship work. That is what is important, right? How dare he judge me for such a minor infraction! AND then I would consider his side; I totally get where he is coming from and accept that no matter what a lie is a lie. And if you can lie about a small thing what will you do with a big thing.

I couldn’t just let it go though and needed to know what others thought. I questioned a myriad of people about this fem age dilemma, which elicited a variety of interesting and thought provoking perspectives on the matter.

The Women said…

“It shouldn’t matter because an age lie is a little white lie it doesn’t hurt anybody. Like when you tell someone they look great in a sweater — but they don’t. Or when you tell your boyfriend that was the best sex ever — but it wasn’t”.

Got it.

“Any man who has the nerve to ask a woman her age is a loser and uncouth. The subject is taboo everybody knows that!”

Of course!

“If a man is attracted enough by your look to have sex with you, then age should not even factor in his equation”.

Yeah! That’s right!

“Had the tables been turned and he lied about his age would you break-up with him?”

Probably not.

“Saying you are younger than your age is NOT a lie it’s just a fact, no woman ever tells her true age”.

Has merit.

“Did you ask him how much money he had in his bank account? No. So why did he think it was ok to ask you your age!”

You know she’s right…that is a NO CLASS question. Clearly not coming from a loving place.

Male thoughts on this….

“I have to know a woman’s age because I need to know whether I want to date her or not”

Really..That’s what matters?

“Women my own age have no energy”.

Does this guy know that women outlive men by an average of 7 years!

“Women my age just can’t keep up with what I want to do”

Are you sure? Women are extremely proficient multi-taskers.

“They just don’t want to do anything fun anymore”.

Oh, this is SO not true.

“They just don’t take care of themselves and they look frumpy it makes ME look old.

Alright, I have heard enough! You need to be the master of you.

Why do women hide there age

What the men I interviewed said is indicative of the male population mindset. The ugly truth is the world is an unforgiving place for women of a certain age, especially single women of a certain age. A woman’s viability as a sexual being seems to come with an expiration date. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Adding or subtracting a few years just to stay in the game seems to be the only logical solution. It’s a calculated risk, certainly. But I think there is a way to make this numbers game legit.

Real age is my mantra

I believe we should be judged by how we take care of my mind, body and spirit. A 45 year old who smokes and drinks could biologically be 65 and a 54 year old who regularly exercises and eats right could biologically be 45.

There is a website I love called real age, www.realage.com, which is endorsed by Dr. Oz. On the site is a questionnaire you fill out that determines your biological age based on health and lifestyle factors. Granted you do have to plug in your calendar age. But using that as a baseline the test asks you questions about your general health, habits, relationships, diet and fitness to determine your real age. The test takes about 20 minutes and is about 20 pages. I took the test last night and scored 8.9 years younger than my calendar age. Rock on! I propose we all live by this yardstick. If we take good care of ourselves we truly can be as young as we feel. So how old am I? My REAL AGE, well, I’m a proud gen jonser born between 1954 and 1965.

Is that a lie?

What do you think? I’d love to hear what YOU have to say.