Other people’s Parents

Four times a year my youngest daughter gets very excited with the anticipation of attending her out of town weekend teen retreat. All the kids look forward to it really. There’s a buzz that begins a week before the Friday they get to cut out of school early. It’s a chance for them to bond with other like-minded teens from all across the county, be away from the watchful eye of their parents, hang out and generally stay up all night to gossip. So it came as no surprise that when one of my daughters friends was not going to be able go because her mother could not drop her at the bus stop the child went into a frenzy of texting to find a way to get there.

The girl asked my daughter and my daughter asked me. As the details unfolded it became clear that the child’s parents were going to be out of town the day before the retreat so the girl needed a place to stay the night before the getaway in addition to a ride to the bus stop. No problem. I  know how important these events are to kids. I remember how much fun I had on these kinds of excursions. They are memories that last a lifetime. In any event, I thought if I can help this girl out, why not. It’d be my pleasure. But I’ve never met this girl nor did I know her parents, so I told my daughter I needed to speak to the girls mom.

That’s when it got interesting.

I got on the phone with this woman and she immediately launched into a litany of requests. Funny, I didn’t hear a thankful preamble to any of the following demands. “You live in Long Beach and we’re in Yorba Linda. Would it be possible for you to pick up my daughter… say in Newport Beach? Or how about the John Wayne Airport? I’m leaving to go on a trip from that airport so that would be the easiest.” (fyi, that’s about a half hour to 45 minute trip for me each way)

EXCUSE ME. Did I hear this woman right???

Little reminder:  I don’t know this woman and I don’t know her kid. I am doing her a favor by letting her daughter stay at my house and now she wants me to make it convenient for her by picking her child up at her drop off point.

HUH?? But that’s not all.

I told her that that would be impossible because I was not going to be in the OC on Thursday eve. “Well,” she said a tad annoyed, “is there someone else in your house that is of driving age?”

Are you kidding me!!!!!!

Now she wants me to find a way to pick up her kid. She wants me to take on her parenting responsibility. Is she out of her freakin’ mind! Again, let me remind all of you I DO NOT know this woman, I have never met her in my life and I do not know the child. Though I do not blame the child for her mother’s selfish behavior. She had no choice in the matter. “No, I don’t have another person who drives in my household available on Thursday”, I replied. Now more bent, this woman responds exasperatedly, “Well, okay than we’ll just have to figure out what we can do”. You do that…I thought.

I got off the phone. Looked at my child and said, “I don’t know what’s going to happen, but if your friend can find a way to our house I’m happy to help out. If not. I don’t think she is going to be able to go on the weekend.”

I don’t often run into parents like this woman, but I feel very strongly about this kind of behavior. If you decide to become a parent, your child/children are your number one priority. If you can not or do not want to make them a priority in your life, if you cannot see your way to adapting your schedule for your children’s needs then don’t have children!

I wish I could say there was a fitness prescription to fix this kind of bad behavior, but unfortunately there is not. This can only be repaired with a heaping dose of better parenting skills and perhaps a lesson in respectful consideration.

P.S. The woman figured out her driving dilemma, the girl came to stay at our house, she was adorable and delightful and she got to go on the weekend trip. There was a Happy Ending.