What a Man Wants

“Do you want to know what men really want, Kerri? ” he said. I was sitting at dinner the other evening with one of my favorite men in the whole wide world. The conversation always starts with new project updates, crazy pitches, nutty actors and needy writer stories. Hilarious.  Then our chats quickly segue to the really good stuff…the ladies in his life. Unlike most men, he shares the details of his romantic relationships that make for lively table discussions and, for me, a peek inside the mind of a male.

On this most recent get together, he seemed to be at a relationship defining crossroads. Usually his stories involve the cavalcade of women that constantly parade in and out of his sexual consciousness.  Not one to settle for just one girl, this night he expressed exhaustion with the emotional wear and tear juggling his multi-liaison tempo. The energy required to keep up the various relationships that were all ultimately “wrong” for him was taking its toll.  He confided that he’s in a place in his life where he’d like to find his soul mate. WOW! Well it’s time then.  But there are some challenges to that mantra—Don’t WE know that, ladies. Finding the “right one” is no easy task. I’ve been searching for 10 years, no sign of him yet.

My friend, a man in his 50’s, told me the conundrum men his age face, when searching for Miss Perfect, is the struggle of finding a woman with just the right blend of brains and beauty. A woman in her 20’s who has the killer body can make the zing schwing, but these ladies lack the brainpower to keep his mind in the moment. Age appropriate women are more interesting and can hold a conversation, but when it comes to the hubba hubba factor, for he and his friends he finds it is often missing. He told me that the biggest flaw he sees in mature women is how they lose sight of taking care of their bodies. Their skin is rough, he complained and their tushies are on a slippery slope southbound. No matter how scintillating the conversation, a bounce in the bedroom doesn’t top his “must haves” list with these ladies.

He shared a story about a friend of his, a 56-year-old man, who’d been in a relationship with a 40-something woman.  Very age appropriate. Several months into dating she lost sight of her primp and his sexual interest waned; the kiss of death according to my friend. His friend ended the relationship. This man then moved on to a 21-year-old hottie. He chased her down for months with flowers, poems, and gifts. I only include these facts because when the man finally “landed” the girl, he realized she was not the prize worthy of such a pursuit. Once they’d done the early relationship requisite insatiable sex thing, they had nothing to TALK ABOUT! She had no desire to engage in a discussion about world politics, she had no interest in his business concerns and never picked up a newspaper to educate herself about anything outside the shopping mall. She was a vapid post teen.  At that point even the insatiable sex drive moved into a necessary Viagra OD haze for the guy. He’s considering reconnecting with his 40 something flame. What’s stopping him..skin and ass.

As I listened to my friends stories, I realized the “issues” are all SO fixable. With minor tweaks we Generation Jones fems can become THE women that will make these men melt.  Life has gifted us with years. That’s right, we’ve got a depth of life experiences to draw from to keep a lively conversation in play. We are mentally on a level playing field with these guys.  Our age provides us with a depth and knowledge that a young girl can’t possibly acquire in her short existence on this planet. Our brains are SOLID. What we need to take care of is our physical being, the skin, body and libido.

At 25 years old I started slathering on lotion, a rich emollient home blend, that I concocted to perfection. (Yes, I am working on formulating the product to share with all of you, but in the meantime a good OTC brand will do the trick). If your skin is really rough you may want to use a body exfoliant once a week for four weeks, to get rid of the top layer of dry skin, then follow-up with an all over body schmear.  In no time this five-minute daily morning must, will quickly make the rough skin issue a non con.

As for the saggy bottoms and sex drive, nothing works better than a healthy dose of cardio and a lower body workout. In as little as twenty minutes a day you can begin to transform your physique and pump up your heart rate.  Daily exercise will tone your muscles, speed up your metabolism and increase blood flow, which is critical to sexual arousal. In fact, research has shown that a 40 something woman’s libido is at its peak 20 minutes after a cardio workout. A combination of walking, squats, lunges and leg lifts will make the “bad ass” difference.

Ready to snag that man right out of a sugarbabies claws? Get moving! Check out my “Raising the Bar – Fitness Tips” monthly for the latest – no gym, no equipment – workout.