Post image for Single Mom Superstar – The Real Housewives of NYC – Amanda Sanders


One of my favorite guilty pleasures is watching Bravo Network’s The Real Housewives of NYC. I love how the women on the show bare their souls and speak their minds! I was fortunate enough to speak one-on-one with the newest cast-wife, Amanda Sanders. We had a frank discussion about her unexpected journey to single motherhood after 13 years of marriage. Raising her two daughters on her own. Her former husband’s key to her home. Styling her clients. The launch of her brand new jewelry line. And what it’s like juggling it all!

KZ: Are you a full-time single mom? In other words, do you have 100% custody?

AS: The court ordered that we share custody 50/50, but honestly it’s more like 75/25, because mom’s home is the girl’s main residency. Doesn’t really matter though, because my former husband is always around.

KZ: Doesn’t that bother you?

AS: He has the keys to the house and it’s for the benefit of the children. I have no choice, but to accept it. I think it’s the nature of the new divorce. We’re not living in a Kramer vs. Kramer world anymore. Divorce is always awful so if allowing him to sit on my couch alleviates the tension, I do it.

KZ: What do you think happened in your marriage?

AS: It didn’t work for him. He didn’t want it anymore. I don’t believe marriage works anymore. With two income families the dynamic of the institution has changed. Women are equal to men these days. I married a man with a great profession, a lawyer. I thought for sure he’d be making the lion share of the income, but it didn’t work out that way. I think that is too hard on everyone.

KZ: What is the greatest joy in being a single mom?

AS: The best part is being able to have alone time with my daughters. When they were younger we would go get mani’s and pedi’s and blow-outs all the time. Now, their world is opening up. They like fashion, the theater, going to museums. We just saw the Charles James exhibit at the Met. I really appreciate being able to see things through their eyes.

KZ: What is the most challenging part of being a single mom?

AS: Single mom’s become the first call. For example, camp called me when my daughter got sick, not her dad. So I had to leave my client to go pick her up. Fortunately, my client was a mom too, so she understood. But I don’t have the same back up system anymore. I need to outsource for everything, even to go get an aspirin. I mean if it’s the middle of the night and one girl gets sick and I need to run downstairs to get meds, I can’t. I’m as independent as I can be, but I still have to be resourceful.

KZ: So do you believe that single moms can “have it all”?

AS: I would like to say yes. But I’m not sure. When you have more than one kid it’s very hard to have it all. It takes a village.

AS: What is having it all anyway? Everyone has a different interpretation of having it all. I have a great business and that is successful. “having it all”. But divorce doesn’t mean success. I would like to have a man in my life.

KZ: You are one very busy single mom with the Bravo TV show, your consulting business and a new jewelry line. What’s your secret to the single mom juggling act?

AS: A lot of it is writing everything down and being organized. I make lists and cross them off. I also believe that if things don’t work out the way they’re supposed to, you’ve got to have a plan b and not lose focus.

KZ: I am sure your village has helped a lot with the launch of your new jewelry line. How did that all come about?

AS: The line is a collaboration with Lane Jewelers, called Bling Jewelry. I’m an image consultant, so I take my clients through the process of updating their hair, make-up, and body language. I take them shopping and have always felt that accessories are the icing on cake. Jewelry pulls the whole outfit together. Creating this Jewelry line was a natural extension of everything I do. I’m excited about this collaboration with Lane Jewelers, because I always felt that beautifully crafted inexpensive pieces was missing in the marketplace. This new line makes it easy to add finishing touches. I know when I have a bad day, I don’t buy shoes or a bag, I buy jewels. They never make me feel fat!

KZ: What do you enjoy most about styling your clients?

AS: When they look at themselves in the mirror and feel differently. They see themselves through a different lens; like ten pounds thinner, or that they can get the date, or the job. It’s the gift that they’ll always remember.

KZ: What is it like being under the microscope of reality TV?

AS: The housewives producers had been asking me to be on the show for long time, even when I was married. I didn’t do it then, but as a divorcee, there are different rules, financially and emotionally. I took a big risk. But it’s a less comfortable project than my styling or jewelry. There’s a 50/50 chance of looking good or bad, and I don’t like the lack of control in that. I have two girls who may see something that’s not exactly as it was intended.

KZ: How do you feel about the way the producers have portrayed you in the show? Is there anything you’d like to change or anything you’d like to clarify for the readers?

AS: No, I was not happy with my portrayal. I do, however, understand what makes good TV. I wish the public would be more interested in the upside of people rather than the drama. I take my career and my love of what I do seriously. My intention was to do the housewives show as a jumping off point to have my own reality show about how I transform people.

KZ: How do you hope being a single working mom will inspire your children?

AS: I hope it will encourage them to follow their dreams and do what they want. When they enjoy their job, then it’s never a day of work.

KZ: Single moms always struggle to strike the balance between dating and parenting. What’s your secret?

AS: I’ve probably been on 300 dates. A lot of them were a function of making myself put on my clothes to go out to have a martini. It’s important for a woman’s self-esteem to feel sexual or alive and get noticed.

KZ: Is there a special family ritual you share with your kids?

AS: We read a very special book called the “kissing hand”… Whenever they are sad to know I am with them in spirit!

KZ: Do you have a ritual or something you say that helps keep you motivated and inspired every day? Something you could share with other single moms that they could incorporate into their daily lives.

AS: Coco Chanel would say, “There are no ugly women just lazy ones.” So, I say put on the mascara or the spanks. Wear the heels that pinch you. Dress no matter what, because when you do this you project a different feeling, otherwise you go into the abyss of living in nothing and that makes you feel like Jello.

KZ: What do you think makes you a single mom superstar?

AS: I keep portraying a positive message to my kids. If I don’t succeed at something I keep on reinventing myself. I want them to know it’s important to keep building.

Thanks to Amanda for sharing her inspiration. Are you a single mom superstar? Do you have single mom superstar story to share? I’d love to hear from you. Leave your story below.



5 Things You Should Never Say to a Single Mom’s Kids

July 14, 2014
Thumbnail image for 5 Things You Should Never Say to a Single Mom’s Kids

There is a litany of posts on the net about what not to say to a single mom. Clearly, there’s a host of people who feel like they need to be in the know about your life, but can’t quite wrap their heads around a delicate way to quell their curiosity. Or, and more likely, […]

Read the full article →

Eat Your Ice Cream – It’s Good For You

July 12, 2014
Thumbnail image for Eat Your Ice Cream – It’s Good For You

I am a big fan of Ice Cream. It is actually my go-to after dinner dessert virtually every night! I pull out the container and a big soup spoon loading it up with a large scoop. Now that I know about the healthy side of ice cream I’m going to indulge in two large spoonfuls! […]

Read the full article →

What to do When your Kids Disapprove of your Man

June 30, 2014
Thumbnail image for What to do When your Kids Disapprove of your Man

It’s the worst possible scenario in a single moms dating journey. You’ve finally met a male companion you enjoy, and your children want to have nothing to do with him. In my 12 years as a single mom I faced this dilemma plenty.  You think it might be best to move on to the next, […]

Read the full article →

Super Summertime Tween Activities + A Valuable Coup You’re Gonna Want

June 23, 2014
Thumbnail image for Super Summertime Tween Activities + A Valuable Coup You’re Gonna Want

 Finding activities to keep your middle-schoolers busy during the summer can be challenging.  They are at that weird in-between stage when they’re too old to go to camp, but too young for a summer job. One of my favorite summertime activities with my younger daughter has always been baking. We started getting busy in the […]

Read the full article →

Helpful Apps for Single Moms

June 16, 2014
Thumbnail image for Helpful Apps for Single Moms

 Of all the single-parent families in the US, single mothers make up the majority. In the latest information released by the US Census Bureau, out of 12.2 million single parent families in 2012, more than 80% were headed by single mothers. Although being a single mother is less frowned upon as compared to in the […]

Read the full article →

What to Consider When Planning for Your Retirement

June 13, 2014
Thumbnail image for What to Consider When Planning for Your Retirement

The first thing to remember when planning for retirement is that it is never too early to start saving. Because of the way compound interest works, saving just a few dollars a month when you are in your 20s and early 30s will make a massive difference to the final sum you have to draw […]

Read the full article →

Have Fun Being a Single Mom in LA

June 2, 2014
Thumbnail image for Have Fun Being a Single Mom in LA

By Sherri Murphy CEO and Tammi Pickle, the VIP Matchmakers at Murphy International  Los Angeles is famous around the world as an exciting and happening city – Fast paced, beautiful people and fun entertainment. Its one of the largest cosmopolitan cities in the world and people come from everywhere to experience the night life. […]

Read the full article →

What I Learned from the Mama Leopard

May 26, 2014
Thumbnail image for What I Learned from the Mama Leopard

It’s been 13 years since I’ve been “the better half” of a married couple. Sure, I’ve had plenty of dates, and lots of 3 or 6-month interludes. But an ongoing, significant-other life partner, has thus far eluded me. Mostly this is my doing. Like many single mothers, my focus has been about raising my two […]

Read the full article →

Single Moms Surviving the Plus One Season

May 15, 2014
Thumbnail image for Single Moms Surviving the Plus One Season

Have the rush of summer wedding invitations hit your mailbox yet? May is the beginning of “I do” season. And for we single moms, who receive a bevy of wedding invites, this time of year can be challenging. Especially when we are seriously lacking a steady party date. The plus one season can feel a […]

Read the full article →

Vacation Ideas for Active Kids this Summer

May 15, 2014
Thumbnail image for Vacation Ideas for Active Kids this Summer

Looking ahead to weeks and weeks of summer stretching out ahead of you is one of the great pleasures of childhood. Sadly that excitement can fade and boredom kick-in all too quickly. As soon as it does, kids will invariably turn to their parents for inspiration. The temptation in this day and age is to […]

Read the full article →

Single Moms Spoil Yourself this Mother’s Day

May 7, 2014
Thumbnail image for Single Moms Spoil Yourself this Mother’s Day

The Ultimate Single Mom Giveaway I am excited to announce the Ultimate Single Mom Giveaway! This is your chance to receive 100% free gifts. There is a variety of options to choose from including e-books, coaching time, downloads, and more. Each gift has been supplied by top professionals in their field.  There is everything from […]

Read the full article →

Fun Ways for Single Moms to Celebrate Mother’s Day

April 28, 2014
Thumbnail image for Fun Ways for Single Moms to Celebrate Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is a wonderful 24 hours set aside for our loved ones to honor all that we do.  But, if you are a newly single mom the day can be fraught with mixed emotions. For many moms, in the past, your significant other planned the day’s activities and assisted the kids with picking out your […]

Read the full article →

What You Need to Know About Him on Your First Date

April 21, 2014
Thumbnail image for What You Need to Know About Him on Your First Date

The purpose of dating is to get to know the person your meeting. It’s not just to get a feel for the chemistry you may have, it’s also time to assess whether he is someone you would like to know better. Though I am a huge fan of enjoying the dating process. My motto is […]

Read the full article →