What You Need to Know About Him on Your First Date

by Kerri Zane on April 21, 2014

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200258240-001The purpose of dating is to get to know the person your meeting. It’s not just to get a feel for the chemistry you may have, it’s also time to assess whether he is someone you would like to know better. Though I am a huge fan of enjoying the dating process. My motto is “Even a bad date is a good story.”  In other words no matter who you are out with and how you feel about him there can be a positive outcome from every meeting. Yet, there are some key questions you can ask on the first date that will tell you whether the man sitting across the table from you is worthy of, not just a second date, but a future. That’s because your first date may be the one and only time, a man will be completely open and honest about his relationship issues. You simply have to be clever enough to ask the right questions and intent enough to listen for his truth buried in his answer.

1. How often do your see your kids? Let him share as much as he wants. You’ll get an insight as to how much time he spends with them and how much he spends on them. A guy who supports his children’s dreams, emotionally and financially is worth his weight in gold. It’s also a plus if he’s good to his former spouse. If he can be a good guy in a divorce situation, you can bet he’s the kind of man that will handle rough patches with aplomb.

If you’re on a date with a guy who doesn’t have children, you’re going to want to know the circumstances. Often, a man who’s never had children will have a difficult time playing second fiddle to yours.

2. Do you like what you do? Asking about his job allows you to assess his financial stability, without asking for a pay stub.  Furthermore, for many men ego and job go hand-in-hand. If he’s unhappy with what he’s doing, the stress is going to permeate other aspects of his life.  You don’t need to be around a doggie downer nor is it your responsibility to bolster his ego, at least not at the beginning of a relationship.

3. What do you do for fun? You’ll be able to find out if his interests and pursuits match yours. Does he fly motorized model planes? Or would he prefer spending time on a comfy couch with a good book. Based on his answers you will be able to assess if it’s something you can do together. And how it might enhance your relationship.

4. What’s your sport? This is good to know because you’ll be able to assess your compatibility and his proclivity for good health and longevity.

5. Are you close to your family? What’s your mom like? I know, I know – mom told you to ask this question and you ignored her. No more. It is a valid ask. The kind of relationship he engages in with his mother is a keen insight into how he’ll treat all the women in his life.

 

 

 

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